Even for your therapist.
Let's see what happens when you stop.
For the bois who need permission, the queers who need attunement, and the neurodivergent folks who need both.
I've spent a lot of money on things that didn't fit me either.
I was wildly angry at the Calm app for not making me calm. I started more meditation tracks than I ever finished - they kept triggering me.
Therapy that started with promise and was boring by session three. A psychoanalyst who'd ask the same precise question about how I felt in a moment - and I'd tell her "I don't feel in words. I feel in feeling-shapes." And then I'd end up handing her the word she was looking for, which sidetracked the rest of the session.
You're not the problem.
Most of what you've tried was built for someone else's nervous system. And someone else's queerness, if it was built for queerness at all.
Somatic work doesn't try to fix you, because there's nothing wrong with you. It works with the brain you have. And it doesn't ask you to leave the queer part of you outside the room.
Most coaching is about becoming a better version of yourself. This isn't that. We're after coherence - standing a little taller in a conversation you'd usually rush through. Saying what you need without freezing first. Holding a silence without filling it. Body, mind, and life pointing the same way for an afternoon, then a day, then a week.
Drop the masks. Show up for the things, the people, and the parts of yourself you've been performing past. I'll hold a safe space while you work out what that means for you.
I'll support you in shedding the stories that aren't yours, so you can live life on your own terms.
Your body has been keeping the receipts your brain has been losing. Somatic work means listening to your body again. Slowly. Without making it perform.
Self-care got hijacked by face masks and productivity hacks. Real care is messier, slower, and more specific to you. Let's find yours.
Sessions are 60 minutes, online or in person in London. We start with a free 30-minute intro call - no pitch, just a conversation about what you're after and whether I'm the right fit.
Most clients work with me in rolling 6-session blocks. 6 sessions is enough to get past the warm-up and into the actual work. Some folks come for a one-off check-in. There are no long contracts, but there is a small ask: come in committing to the block, then we decide together whether to keep going.
Blocks are £540 for 6 sessions, payable monthly or upfront. Sliding scale is available - if money is the friction, ask.
No hacks, no quick fixes. Just deep work with proven approaches - I draw on Hakomi, yoga, Internal Family Systems, Clean Language, and the somatic training I keep adding to. Real change takes time and practice. There's no test, just an invitation to play.
The work I do with you draws from things I'm doing in my own life. That's not an accident. I built this practice because most of what was on offer didn't quite fit me either.
Three threads weave through it:
Thread 1
When I'm overwhelmed, a cycle ride into nature always helps me settle and process. I've been teaching yoga for over eight years and getting stronger in calisthenics for the last few. They're spaces where I practice somatics in a very visceral, direct way. Once I show up, the body settles. I learned that on the mat and at the bar. The gym I train at is one of the first movement spaces I've ever been in that's completely judgment-free, and I bring some of that into how I hold sessions.
Thread 2
I'm deeply engaged with the queer Shibari scene in London. That's where a lot of my thinking about somatic safety, consent, and bodies-in-relationship lives. I held space at Sanctuary for queer men to explore intimacy with their clothes on, and I keep facilitating other group spaces - workshops, somatic gatherings - where queer and neurodivergent folk can be in their bodies together. Those rooms taught me how to read a body that's saying yes and a body that's saying not today, and how to hold both without making it a problem.
I don't bring kink into a coaching session unless you do. But the attunement that gets practised in those rooms is the same attunement you get on a Tuesday afternoon over Zoom.
Thread 3
I'm AuDHD. Or as I like to call it, hyper-autistic. I notice patterns, I move sideways through ideas, I need movement between things, and I feel sensations before I can name emotions. Learning to complete the sentences Right now I'm sensing... Right now I'm feeling... changed everything for me. That two-stage way of getting to a feeling, and the realisation that sometimes we don't have words,... it shift things. None of this got named for me until my mid-30s. I know the cost of those years, and I know the relief of finally having language for it. In my late 30s I went back to study organisational psychology at Birkbeck, partly to figure out why I'd never quite fit any workplace I'd worked in.
Most people I work with arrive feeling broken, like something needs fixing. They leave with something quieter and more useful: agency. Maybe I don't have to change everything. Maybe here's something that actually pulls me.
The work isn't about arriving anywhere. It's about being in movement again. Emotions need movement to process - the worst thing is getting stuck. Sessions create the potential for that movement, in the body and through the body, into the rest of your life.
I've struggled so you don't have to.
I don't have all the answers. But I've seen a lot of things, I've searched a lot, and I can save you a few years of searching. I'm still doing the work. I'd like to support you in doing yours.
"I haven't been unedited for almost 40 years. Being able to show up as me has been really beautiful."
If you're a neurodivergent gay or queer man and you've been quietly looking for someone whose practice doesn't ask you to leave any of you at the door - you found me. Welcome.
Book a free intro call, or say hi on your favourite platform.
I learned coaching at the London-based Somatic School and got certified as a Level 2 coach by the International Coaching Federation (ICF). I'm currently working on my ACC accreditation.
I run Lumina Spark assessments for clients who want one. It's the only personality framework I've found that holds up for neurodivergent and high-masking folks, because it embraces the contradictions in you instead of flattening them. If you've ever taken a Myers-Briggs and felt like none of the answers fit, this one might land differently.
Coaching might be a Tuesday afternoon. The other six days are where most of the actual living happens.
Alfie isn't here to replace coaching, it's not designed to. Alfie is the maintenance layer between sessions. I built it to be your mirror: check in, reflect on your day, build awareness of what you need, what you're feeling, what your patterns are. Alfie won't diagnose or prescribe. Its job is to listen, reflect back, and maybe offer a little ritual to help you regulate.
Free to start. Works in tandem with coaching, or as its own practice.
In beta. Built with care for neurodivergent, queer or overstimulated bodies and brains.
I built Alfie while believing we shouldn't outsource our thinking to AI. Those two things sat badly together for a while. For now, I'm sitting here: AI is very good at holding structure for us to…
Read the note